Let's face it. We're in the midst of a war (not that one). A war between those who think watching someone with enlarged mammaries eating animal testicles is great entertainment and those who foam at the mouth when they see people in Borders sipping a mochaccino and reading the latest Dan Brown novel. It's the the war on culture. Are you high or low? Except, wait a second. Traditional battle lines have become obscured by the post-modern factions who'll watch the most depressing garbage. However, as you must understand, they do so ironically with tongue firmly in cheek. That's not fair, you're either on one side or the other! The proles v the literati. The ignoramusses v the erudite. Or put plainly, the smart v the dumb. Right? So why are the smart allowing themselves to be led by the dumb? Or rather, why are they pretending to be led by the dumb whilst sniggering behind their backs and flaunting their own mock stupidity?
Some smart-arse laid into comedian David Mitchell's latest Observer piece on artificial intelligence and sex with his own flabbergasted smugness, lamenting how someone like Mitchell is put on the pedestal that should be reserved solely for the intelligensia. And then this detractor had the audacity to turn on Stephen Fry, Britain's (self-appointed and starting to get a bit annoying rather than charming) national treasue and bastion of the well-informed chattering classes. Mitchell's critic was missing the point. Although the article perhaps lacked a coherent flow, David Mitchell, comedian and persona, is not there to dissect the finer points of robotics and then add a few witty anecdotes that only an esteemed professor from the University of Whatshisface circa 1976-78 will dryly find amusing whilst stroking their outlandish facial hair. He's there to serve up his comic persona, one that many of his readers will already be familiar with, and provide a brief overview of his subject whilst making with the laughs along the way.
So where do folks like Mitchell come into the war on culture? He's a refreshing voice, not too dissimilar in opinion, as he has admitted himself, to Mark Corrigan, the character he plays so well on Channel 4's Peep Show. He's a kind of throwback and welcome change from the vapid rent-a-celebs who litter television and contribute nothing more than white smiles and the good fortune of being attractive to the opposite sex. A knowledgeable young (ish) man with an old head and a diverse set of interests, he happily commentates on the serious issues affecting culture whilst participating as guest or host on a variety of panel shows. QI, in particular, hosted by the aforementioned Fry is certainly no popcorn picnic despite it's comedic value and light-hearted approach to the depths of knowledge. Again, this is where the war on culture gets confusing and the brows of high and low converge and gauge each other's eyes out and then proceed to go out to dinner. McDonald's or Michelin restaurant, it would no longer matter, they are essentially now the same.
Mitchell occupies the same millieu of comedians/writers/celebrities or is that celebrities/comedians/writers (Mitchell, Fry, Charlie Brooker, Jimmy Carr etc) who may enjoy pontificating on serious news stories however they're not adverse to making the odd quip in reference to the latest reality TV star. High brow and low brow no longer know if they want to slit each other's throats or revel in their own smug satisfaction safe in assuming that no matter what they are or what they represent, there's an audience watching/reading/waiting in their thrall. The war is still on but it's all one big conspiracy theory being fought on the front line whilst those in the corridors of power concoct new concepts to keep us entertained. Or at least to keep us talking, no matter what side we're on. Low or high, there's no escaping the fact that we're all entrenched in both camps whether we like it or not. Desperate, kangaroo ingesting celebs or smug observers of culture, we're all destined to meet somewhere in the middle as picking a side and staying true becomes increasingly difficult.
Sunday 22 November 2009
A Day Is Done
Here is just a short poem.
A Day is Done
A day is done
The till is balanced
My heart jumps out and
Climbs back in again.
A day is done
My mouth is dry
I've spoken too much
Banal, inane, mischievous, bitter words
They all combine but I set them free
When a day is done.
A Day is Done
A day is done
The till is balanced
My heart jumps out and
Climbs back in again.
A day is done
My mouth is dry
I've spoken too much
Banal, inane, mischievous, bitter words
They all combine but I set them free
When a day is done.
Thursday 19 November 2009
The Results Business Shows No Mercy to Reputation
Six games, no win and a squad of underachievers low on confidence. Gary Waddock could be forgiven for thinking he's taken on a poisoned chalice at Wycombe Wanderers given his record so far. He may also feel that the club's fall, even under his guidance, could be irreversible. The Blues' defeat last night to Brighton and Hove Albion in a first round FA Cup replay saw the boss ring the changes following the humiliating 6-0 defeat to Huddersfield Town the previous Saturday.
Unfortunately it wasn't enough as Wanderers collapsed to a 2-0 defeat though by all accounts, the performance was an improvement. Those who witnessed the defeat to Huddersfield, live on Sky television, would perhaps argue that nothing could be worse. Granted, Huddersfield are a tidy, upwardly mobile side capable of playing attractive and incisive football. But the manner in which Wycombe were taken apart was abject at best and at its worst, demoralising for players and fans alike. There were pockets of Wycombe's play, mainly in the first-half when the scoreline was respectable, where they looked capable. There were neat exchanges in midfield and attempts to penetrate the channels and hurt the opposition with livewires Scott Davies and Kevin Betsy, talisman Tommy Doherty and re-called hero John Akinde offering a threat.
However, middle third of the pitch aside, in defence Wycombe were disorganised and sloppy, in attack they were toothless and devoid of ideas. Former Premiership defender and Wycombe captain Michael Duberry partnered Luke Oliver in the centre of the backline and so far this season both have managed to produce a series of error-strewn displays. Blues fans must be fondly recalling former defensive lynchpins Jamie Bates, Jason Cousins and Paul McCarthy with a renewed rose-tinted vigour. In his defence, Oliver looks like he is needing the kind of assistance that an in-form, experienced partner would provide and he was kept in the side at Brighton and performed admirably. Duberry may be experienced but in-form he isn't and the natives are restless.
By dropping players like Duberry and Matt Bloomfield, Waddock is follwing a refreshing tack. Unprepared to tolerate poor performance and stick to rigid systems and pick favourite players, he admitted that after the debacle at Huddersfield, the honeymoon was over. To be blandly matter of fact, Wycombe at present are staring relegation in the face and are going down with a whimper. With Millwall away next up followed by a crucial encounter with fellow strugglers Southampton, Waddock and Wycombe desperately need to get into the results business. If this means the collective team ego receiving a well-needed massage ahead of individual reputation, then so be it.
WilliWycombe is an exile from the fair town of High Wycombe and does not get to many games. His opinions are those of the exile, on the outside looking in and should be treated thusly.
Unfortunately it wasn't enough as Wanderers collapsed to a 2-0 defeat though by all accounts, the performance was an improvement. Those who witnessed the defeat to Huddersfield, live on Sky television, would perhaps argue that nothing could be worse. Granted, Huddersfield are a tidy, upwardly mobile side capable of playing attractive and incisive football. But the manner in which Wycombe were taken apart was abject at best and at its worst, demoralising for players and fans alike. There were pockets of Wycombe's play, mainly in the first-half when the scoreline was respectable, where they looked capable. There were neat exchanges in midfield and attempts to penetrate the channels and hurt the opposition with livewires Scott Davies and Kevin Betsy, talisman Tommy Doherty and re-called hero John Akinde offering a threat.
However, middle third of the pitch aside, in defence Wycombe were disorganised and sloppy, in attack they were toothless and devoid of ideas. Former Premiership defender and Wycombe captain Michael Duberry partnered Luke Oliver in the centre of the backline and so far this season both have managed to produce a series of error-strewn displays. Blues fans must be fondly recalling former defensive lynchpins Jamie Bates, Jason Cousins and Paul McCarthy with a renewed rose-tinted vigour. In his defence, Oliver looks like he is needing the kind of assistance that an in-form, experienced partner would provide and he was kept in the side at Brighton and performed admirably. Duberry may be experienced but in-form he isn't and the natives are restless.
By dropping players like Duberry and Matt Bloomfield, Waddock is follwing a refreshing tack. Unprepared to tolerate poor performance and stick to rigid systems and pick favourite players, he admitted that after the debacle at Huddersfield, the honeymoon was over. To be blandly matter of fact, Wycombe at present are staring relegation in the face and are going down with a whimper. With Millwall away next up followed by a crucial encounter with fellow strugglers Southampton, Waddock and Wycombe desperately need to get into the results business. If this means the collective team ego receiving a well-needed massage ahead of individual reputation, then so be it.
WilliWycombe is an exile from the fair town of High Wycombe and does not get to many games. His opinions are those of the exile, on the outside looking in and should be treated thusly.
Saturday 14 November 2009
Linguistic Inspiration? Can Flirting with the Classics Help the Poor Man of Europe?
What did the Romans do for Britain? One thing was to leave its shores with the gift of Latin. It is often described as a 'dead' language however it's about to make a comeback in state primary schools. A project orchestrated jointly by Peter Davies, a former President of the Association of School and College Leaders and the Esmee Fairbain Foundation will see the ancient discipline taught in 60 state primaries in Cambridgeshire.
Supporters of the scheme argue that the benefits are self-evident. Teaching children Latin will aid a child's understanding of the various patterns of language besides offering insights into history and civilisation. As part of the project, Latin would be just one of the proposed languages that will be learnt, alongside French, German, Spanish, Japanese and Punjabi. With an increasingly diverse population, what languages should Britian's children be taught and more pertinently which languages will hold the most relevance in the future?
There is no doubt that English remains, be it the first or second, a global tongue of choice. Those who do not class English as their native language will often learn it in some capacity, whether it be at school or for business. Still, Britain remains the poor man of Europe in terms of being linguistically challenged abroad with a survey by the European Commission in 2006 merely confirming this fact. One other finding of note was that 51% of EU nationals can hold a conversation in English however 62% of Britons cannot speak a foreign language. The well worn tale of the Briton shouting louder or speaking slowly in the hope of being understood is an image that projects such as this one in Cambridgeshire will hope to eradicate.
British children have traditionally been taught a combination of French, German and Spanish. Whilst the latter has a significant proportion of the world's population as speakers, Mandarin and Hindi have been ear-marked as the two considered the best for advancement.
Mandarin Chinese is officially the most widely spoken language on the planet, counting 1.1 billion of the world's population as speakers. With China's growing global stature, would learning Mandarin be advantageous for British children? It is already set to become the second most popular language in UK schools as headteachers aim to provide their pupils will the linguistic tools to assert themselves in the 21st century. Meanwhile Hindi has 490 million speakers worldwide with a contingent of Hindi speakers already living in Britain. Not to mention India's own status as an emerging superpower, Hindi is another language that will prove an asset, even more so as the global economy recovers.
If learning Latin as part of a structured framework that encompasses a variety of languages is successful then the benefits to Britain's under-equipped children are clear. A future generation able to converse freely with the world will enable Britain to further enhance its ambitions of becoming a specialised, knowledge-based economy. With the UK government making it compulsory for every primary school child from seven years old to learn a foreign tongue, studying more difficult languages such as Mandarin and Hindi from an earlier age will afford learners the time they require to grasp complexities such as the differing tones in Mandarin. For the future generation to be able to create trade opportunties in China and India and for Britain to lose the stigma of being an insular, one tongue nation, learning Latin and going back to the classics could be just the beginning. Finally, perhaps Britain can reach an enlightened understanding of the world in which the country truly takes part in a global conversation.
Supporters of the scheme argue that the benefits are self-evident. Teaching children Latin will aid a child's understanding of the various patterns of language besides offering insights into history and civilisation. As part of the project, Latin would be just one of the proposed languages that will be learnt, alongside French, German, Spanish, Japanese and Punjabi. With an increasingly diverse population, what languages should Britian's children be taught and more pertinently which languages will hold the most relevance in the future?
There is no doubt that English remains, be it the first or second, a global tongue of choice. Those who do not class English as their native language will often learn it in some capacity, whether it be at school or for business. Still, Britain remains the poor man of Europe in terms of being linguistically challenged abroad with a survey by the European Commission in 2006 merely confirming this fact. One other finding of note was that 51% of EU nationals can hold a conversation in English however 62% of Britons cannot speak a foreign language. The well worn tale of the Briton shouting louder or speaking slowly in the hope of being understood is an image that projects such as this one in Cambridgeshire will hope to eradicate.
British children have traditionally been taught a combination of French, German and Spanish. Whilst the latter has a significant proportion of the world's population as speakers, Mandarin and Hindi have been ear-marked as the two considered the best for advancement.
Mandarin Chinese is officially the most widely spoken language on the planet, counting 1.1 billion of the world's population as speakers. With China's growing global stature, would learning Mandarin be advantageous for British children? It is already set to become the second most popular language in UK schools as headteachers aim to provide their pupils will the linguistic tools to assert themselves in the 21st century. Meanwhile Hindi has 490 million speakers worldwide with a contingent of Hindi speakers already living in Britain. Not to mention India's own status as an emerging superpower, Hindi is another language that will prove an asset, even more so as the global economy recovers.
If learning Latin as part of a structured framework that encompasses a variety of languages is successful then the benefits to Britain's under-equipped children are clear. A future generation able to converse freely with the world will enable Britain to further enhance its ambitions of becoming a specialised, knowledge-based economy. With the UK government making it compulsory for every primary school child from seven years old to learn a foreign tongue, studying more difficult languages such as Mandarin and Hindi from an earlier age will afford learners the time they require to grasp complexities such as the differing tones in Mandarin. For the future generation to be able to create trade opportunties in China and India and for Britain to lose the stigma of being an insular, one tongue nation, learning Latin and going back to the classics could be just the beginning. Finally, perhaps Britain can reach an enlightened understanding of the world in which the country truly takes part in a global conversation.
Thursday 5 November 2009
We Salute The Consummate Broadcaster!
Watching Everton vs Benfica in a Europa League group match is probably one game that perhaps only fans of the two sides are interested in alongside the cultured football spectator. You know the type. Their addiction to the game assumes an almost Wengeresque obsessive zeal. It isn't the football, though it isn't dull, that is holding my attention. It is the man presenting the action, Colin Murray, who I am interested in. No, not in that way but from the perspective that quite simply, he gets around. He's presented numerous music based shows on BBC Radio 1 and can be heard on 5Live's irreverent take on sports, 'Fighting Talk', as well as occasionally moonlighting as a presenter of Five's NFL coverage. Murray isn't the only broadcaster with more than one string to his bow.
Mark Lamaar is probably best known by most for appearing on TV's 'Shooting Stars' and 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' however his fine record collection and cool radio style has made him a cult hit over the airwaves. Let's not forget a couple of British national treasures who have made the transition from comedy to becoming two accomplished broadcasters in their own right, namely well travelled Michael Palin and the ubiquitous Stephen Fry.
So is it easy to switch from one discipline to another? Certainly the aforementioned motley crew have earned recognition and command respect from audiences through virtue of the knowledge they impart and the mastery of their respective crafts. Transitions aren't always as easy as they seem with broadcasters often facing their own career crossroads to define their niche. 5Live's Richard Bacon, once famously sacked by children's TV show Blue Peter for admitting to taking cocaine, is one of the multi-skilled breed who has taken time to find his feet and whilst he has flitted between subjects, he was faced with the choice of fronting entertainment and music shows and going down the current affairs route and emerged as one of the BBC's brightest radio talents with a new afternoon slot on 5Live awaiting him in the new year.
With a seemingly never-ending plethora of interchangeable celebrities and broadcasters all vying for air-time, let's salute those who have carved out their own place in our collective consciousness through their endearing personalities, informed opinions and their ability to hold our attention whether they are espousing views on the latest reality TV show exit or a recent sporting triumph. Hurrah for the consumate broadcaster!
Mark Lamaar is probably best known by most for appearing on TV's 'Shooting Stars' and 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' however his fine record collection and cool radio style has made him a cult hit over the airwaves. Let's not forget a couple of British national treasures who have made the transition from comedy to becoming two accomplished broadcasters in their own right, namely well travelled Michael Palin and the ubiquitous Stephen Fry.
So is it easy to switch from one discipline to another? Certainly the aforementioned motley crew have earned recognition and command respect from audiences through virtue of the knowledge they impart and the mastery of their respective crafts. Transitions aren't always as easy as they seem with broadcasters often facing their own career crossroads to define their niche. 5Live's Richard Bacon, once famously sacked by children's TV show Blue Peter for admitting to taking cocaine, is one of the multi-skilled breed who has taken time to find his feet and whilst he has flitted between subjects, he was faced with the choice of fronting entertainment and music shows and going down the current affairs route and emerged as one of the BBC's brightest radio talents with a new afternoon slot on 5Live awaiting him in the new year.
With a seemingly never-ending plethora of interchangeable celebrities and broadcasters all vying for air-time, let's salute those who have carved out their own place in our collective consciousness through their endearing personalities, informed opinions and their ability to hold our attention whether they are espousing views on the latest reality TV show exit or a recent sporting triumph. Hurrah for the consumate broadcaster!
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