Tales From the Bournemouth Dogging Scene

Dogging in Bournemouth. Fun, right? Wrong. My fly boy and I used to snake our way to Meyrick Park, allegedly a Bournemouth hotspot for outdoor exhibitionists. The top car park is for straight people, the bottom is a strictly all male affair. Or is it the other way round?

No matter. My companion and I did not plan on engaging in sexual activity. Like two tittering schoolchildren, we just wanted a glimpse of naked flesh to prove the existence of dogging. My old Rover Metro crept lethargically into the night and nary a penis or vagina were seen. Not even a bit of sideboob.

It wasn't wholly uninteresting though. We parked near the bottom section and vehicles did come and go. Any flash of headlight scared the hell out of me but not my intrepid friend. He demanded that I repeatedly circled the car park in vain hope. Once, as I turned in, we did see a pale and ghostly figure sitting in a car. We didn't see his trousers down but I can only deduce that he was pleasuring himself. That's just an educated guess. There was one moment of genuine excitement. We'd left the area and found some seafront parking to light up and have a crafty cigarillo. Soon afer, I spotted a navy Range Rover that I remembered loitering with intent at Meyrick Park. I caught a brief look at the driver peering into the front of my antiquated machine. I roared the old girl into life and a pursuit ensued. Our target recklessly ignored the 'left-turn only' instructions at the exit and thrust himself right. I checked both sides first before doing the same and followed up the hill. Unfortunately I lost him by Esso but there we have it. The seedy world of dogging in Bournemouth is as dull as ditchwater however you never know when a possible sex pervert might trail you.

Next time: Cottaging at Coy Pond. How to bag your man.

On the Buses in Bournemouth Can Be No Easy Ride

Reading today's article in the Echo about Emma Woolley and her husband Chris intimidating a Wilts and Dorset bus driver got me thinking about my own experiences on the buses. Poor bus driver, Zoe Oakley, had to take weeks off work because these wasters decided they would begin a pointless campaign of harassment against her. Unfortunately, unsavoury incidents involving the good folk who use the area's public transport are not isolated.

The Poole/Bournemouth/Christchurch services are, by and large, pretty good, run primarily by Wilts and Dorset and Transdev Yellow Buses. They both offer modern fleets of relative comfort and they largely run on time. Ticket prices are bearable and although you get the odd surly driver, they're not a bad bunch. If only the same could be said about some of the passengers. When knocking off from a late-night shift at the Oceanarium one evening, I had the 'pleasure' of riding the number 5 bus back to Winton. Granted it was a Saturday evening but I was still not expecting the following events. Now, before I begin, let me mount a quick-fire defence against those who may feel that I'm jumping on a Daily Mail-esque bandwagon. I'm not. I'm no prude nor a complete degenerate and at 24, I'm certainly no fuddy-duddy. So yes, what I'm about to describe, does matter to the young(er) members of the local populous too.

Anyway, I was (slightly) shocked and embarassed when having been travelling just a matter of minutes, I hear violent retching coming from the back seat. Oh yes, it sounded nice and juicy and a girl of no more than about 15/16 could be seen and heard emptying her insides. The driver, no doubt completely unamused, pulled over only for the protests of the feckless companions and the baffled faces of the rest of us to persuade him to continue. The girls' friends and an assortment of other youths unknown to her seemed to think her paralytic state was a huge joke. She didn'tknow if she lived in West Howe or West Moors or how she was getting there. I think she had a friend with her but no support. She was vulnerable and she wasn't getting any sympathy.

To make matters worse, a German family, obviously on their holiday had boarded at the train station and this is what welcomed them to Bournemouth. There's been a lot in the media lately about how we should feel proud to celebrate our Englishness this St. George's Day. I felt ashamed that evening as the Germans cowered. I love a good drink but until I'm sick on a bus? No thanks. We've all been there when we were younger and tested the boundaries with alcohol. Let's hope this experience taught this young 'un a lesson.

So well done Wilts and Dorset for setting an example and slapping a restraining order on the Woolleys. Travelling by bus in daytime is generally a pleasant experience. At night it can get a bit rowdy but that's to be expected. What we don't want is it to become acceptable for this kind of behaviour and quite frankly, it'll be better for all of us if people like the aforementioned assortment aren't allowed to travel.

The 'Collected Thoughts' is No More. Welcome to a New Blog!

Hi everyone,

For those of you who used to read The Collected Thoughts of Nobody Special at www.williwycombe.blogspot.com, I'm afraid to say it is no more. Do not fear though, I'm changing the face of my own tiny piece of the blogosphere hence the change to Arm Chairs & Deck Chairs. Why? It may seem like search-engine optimisation suicide however whilst The Collected Thoughts had allowed me to share my thoughts on the rag-tag world of news and entertainment, I'm now narrowing my scope to encompass two places close to my heart and indeed my homes. So from Chair City (High Wycombe, not technically a city but once home to Britain's furniture trade) to Bournemouth, I'll be blogging my thoughts and opinions on what's going on in these two locales. I was born in High Wycombe and spent my years at secondary school in the town however three years ago I moved from Bucks to Bournemouth, England's own Miami with more pimps, whores, drugs and sex than you can shake the proverbial stick at. It won't all be glamorous. I'll be taking a look at the bigger issues affecting both towns and their residents. I hope you enjoy reading and welcome along to Arm Chairs & Deck Chairs, the new blog from WilliWycombe. Watch out for a new podcast too. For the time being, old podcasts will be hosted at www.williwycombe.podbean.com. Follow me on Twitter @ #williwycombe or drop me a line at willgeldart@hotmail.co.uk.

WilliWycombe

Can Twitter Defy the Critics and Ensure Continued Success?

As a tool of the 'Web 2.0' revolution, Twitter represents everything cutting-edge about the new terminology and has helped to define the user-orientated internet. Social networking sites exploded into life in the mid 2000s, driven primarily by MySpace and Facebook. Twitter joined the pack in 2006 and has grown rapidly since its inception. It's a micro-blogging site where users can post no more than 140 characters sharing their thoughts and opinions or they can use their accounts for the purpose of sharing information by posting links with tweets visible to their 'followers' who pick them up in their personal feeds. After a few years in the limelight, is there a continuing appeal that will ensure progressive growth? Some critics rail against Twitter's celebrity entourage, its publicity obsessed quotient and then there is the trawl through the banal that can encompass the average day in Twitterland.

A major part of the attraction of Twitter is that it counts thousands of celebrities as members, all tweeting away to let fans know what they've eaten for breakfast or if they have an album or film due for release. In Britain, high-profile tweeters have included singer Lily Allen and television mainstay, Stephen Fry. Both have had mixed emotions about the site, leaving for personal reasons or in Fry's case, because of criticism from another user, and then returning again. Stephen Fry, known as a prolific tweeter, publicly had a self-imposed hiatus to concentrate on his writing although on last inspection, it appears he cannot keep away with many tweets listed in the last few days and weeks. Alas, is it revealing to have an insight into the mindset of the celebrity, in a world where they can seem awfully detached? Or should we care about every minute detail of their day? Certain celebrities even ask their followers for their thoughts on what they should wear. Interactive it may be, the worthiness of such exercises can be called into question.

Whilst Twitter is indeed a powerful tool of communication as evidenced in its role in sharing information amongst protesters during the aftermath of the turbulent Iranian election of June 2009, it isn't without its critics. Some say that despite the fluidity Twitter affords those sharing useful information, it does also harbour and encourage the inane. Small, 'txt speak' blogs about someone's favourite colour or what underwear someone is wearing hardly stimulate cogent debate or contribute anything to the already fluff-filled blogosphere however perhaps the ability to pontificate on any subject is another part of its appeal.

However as co-founder Biz Stone delighted in telling all users in a recent email, Twitter continues to grow. "In the course of a year, registered Twitter accounts have grown more than 1,500% and our team has grown 500%", he beamed, adding that the company had just hired its 140th employee. On the flip side, how many of these new users are merely cynical e-marketeers, insistent on jamming our feeds with all of their spam? Plus according to reports representing the back end of 2009, Twitter showed a 2% decline in traffic last October. All of its major rivals continued to show positive growth and MySpace, which has lost some of its lustre since the advent of Facebook, has announced plans for an overhaul to strengthen its position. Whereas Twitter on the other hand, is criticised by some for its failure to evolve sufficiently to provide the features afforded by its competitors (third-party applications, photos, games etc).

If Twitter is to ensure a successful future and maintain user loyalty, there will have to be an evolution to keep people interested and to maintain long-term viability. There's no doubting the benefits. Functions such as the 'retweet' enable micro-blogs and their useful information to be shared amongst a large audience. There is of course the added attraction of access into the celebrity mindset that isn't necessarily restricted to a fan page where content is controlled by a management company. Twitter might not be able to get rid of the marketeers who can smell a fast buck however it does need more to distract attention from the multitude selling their wares and the rest of us peddling our fluff.

February Podcast Now Online

The February podcast for the 'Collected Thoughts of Nobody Special' is now online! I'll be giving a brief commentary on the best of the blog from the past month. To listen, simply click on the no.1 listing at the left-hand side of the blog title page. Alternatively it's available at williwycombe.podbean.com.

I'll be covering the 'John Terry saga', Lady GaGa at the Brits and a review of the past month for Wycombe Wanderers F.C. As always, please feel free to leave your comments and feedback.

Happy listening!

The Great Debate; A General Election Special

Willi's News Review 3.1

All three of the main political party leaders in Britain will go head-to-head in a series of televised debates, it was officially announced today. All three leaders had previously agreed to participate in principal and now the defined format has been agreed. Labour's Prime Minister Gordon Brown, Conservative David Cameron and Liberal Democrat Nick Clegg will get their chance to convince the electorate of their parties' ability to lead Britain through some of its most challenging times since the Second World War. In the first instance of its kind, broadcasters Sky, ITV and the BBC will screen three debates from the northwest and southwest of England plus the midlands too.

So, in the final weeks before the anticipated May 6 poll, which leader will glean the biggest advantage from TV debates? As it stands, we're heading for a 'hung' parliament with no party having an overall majority. The Conservatives have seen their lead slip to as much as 2% over Labour as the party struggle to convince voters of their credentials. David Cameron's recent keynote speech in Brighton attempted to display what his core values are to deflect Labour criticism that he lacks substance. Cameron conducted his speech without the aid of notes and he will no doubt be feeling confident ahead of appearing on television. Out of the three leaders, his slick approach and delivery may hand him the advantage though he will have to balance style with substance to strike a sincere note with audiences and vital swing voters. Indeed, the Tories have hired the same advisors used by President Barack Obama as he prepared for his round of TV appearances with John McCain. The Tory slogan for the upcoming election is 'Vote For Change', echoing Obama's campaign and with his team of advisers, at least Cameron will be able to match New Labour's spin department.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown's confidence must be boosted by latest polls suggesting that he could remain in power, something that seemed unimaginable just half a year ago. Despite lurching from one crisis to another, it appears an increasing number of voters are placing their faith in his government to help Britain emerge further from its worst recession in years. The kings of spin, Labour will have to work hard to dislodge the dour image that he has suffered from since assuming the role of PM. No doubt Brown will attempt to rally support from the public sector, keen to emphasise to them that a future under the Conservatives will inevitably mean cuts and job losses. Playing on fear is nothing new to electioneering and both Cameron and Brown will aim to depict bleak imagined futures should the other party triumph.

Nick Clegg's Liberal Democrats could prove valuable should the spectre of a hung parliament become a reality. Labour and the Tories may wish to court their affections to agree a consensus for policy making. Not much has been heard recently from Nick Clegg. Some of the key Lib Dem proposals involve an overhaul of the tax system, an issue that Clegg thinks will be "one of the key dividing lines" between the parties. Clegg's respected Treasury Spokesman Vince Cable devised the plans, which include abolishing income tax for the first £10,000 earned.

These landmark television debates may not reveal anything wholly original about all three parties' plans though they will offer a fascinating opportunity for the leaders to be scrutinised before a television audience. Will either man crack under the pressure? And will we see Nick Clegg sidelined as Cameron and Brown trade insults? It would be nice to think that the debates won't descend into a comparison of past ills. What we need is a blueprint for the future, backed up by decisive action, not a petty examination of every aspect of a past we cannot change.

What Entertains You in the Digital Age?

Willi's Guide to Glitz and Glamour 2.3

With a multitude of platforms to sample the latest entertainment offerings on, how do you get your kicks? Do you go to work listening to your music player or perhaps you watch the news on the move? On your lunch break, there's always the internet to browse through a range of programming and then the gadget savvy can come home and relax with a choice of hundreds of television channels. Whether it's 'Crimewatch', an old episode of 'Fawlty Towers' or a live football match, we're spoilt for choice.

This has now become the atypical 'day in the life' for the majority of us who consume different types of media. In the past, we may have sat at breakfast, leafing through the newspaper delivered every morning or flicked through a magazine. As our lives have become increasingly rushed, we're more likely to order a traveling latte while scrolling through online content on an iphone.

Amazingly, despite technological innovations, it's still possible to become bored with what's on offer. The website bored.com plies its trade online to help us fill the spare moments of the day. Of course, there are always advances to try and keep us entertained. New video games, new phones, new computers and new gadgets. According to the results of the 2008 Digital Entertainment Survey, '73% of people own digital cameras, while 62% own mobile phones that have access to the Internet; while near the bottom, only 27% have cable television and 9% use a Blackberry or PDA.' (in the UK) These figures may have changed in the last couple of years but the trends will probably remain the same.

We're a world who demand entertaining. Indeed, most sports are no longer treated as such by those 'consuming the product'. Rather, a new breed of fan demands to be entertained, seeking immediate gratification. In this digital age, some form of entertainment is never further than the click of a button. Compatability is key and the majority of platforms are interlinked to the extent that you can hook up a PC to a TV, browse the internet from a phone and take photos from a phone or digital camera, ready to be uploaded to a PC and then a digital frame. The digital age has brought incredible breakthroughs to both entertain and enrich our lives. For the innovators, boredom simply isn't an option.